Lachlan + Cathy


File this post under ‘better late than never’.

Nine months after handing in her thesis, and four months after being awarded her degree, Dr. Payne lined up with a few hundred other medical science graduates just prior to Christmas to receive her papers and make it official.

As a serial university dropout who never made it past first semester despite numerous attempts, a graduation ceremony is something of a novelty to me.

But the novelty soon wore off, as I struggled to stay awake through the roll call of nations and scientific terminology.

So, to keep myself amused, I flicked through the ceremony’s program notes and highlighted the following trivialities…

  • Longest Surname: Dechaboon Changsirivathanathamrong
  • Most Economical Use of Consonants: Uet Yu
  • Most Names: Hetti Arachchige Nilushie Anuruddika Thilakarathna
  • Most Redundant Name: Jagnoor Jagnoor
  • Most Disappointingly Mono-Cultural Name: Cathy Payne
  • Most Impressive Thesis: Validating the reliability and acceptability of self-collected anal swabs, used for…

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